That Faltzer Ain't One of Ours

So I'm in the mood to discuss behavior and people in general. The highlight for all of last week was the concept of kissing ass (or "sucking up", if you prefer the more civile term.) I define the term as "a form of flattery where the intention of gaining in the end, regardless of whether or not human dignity/morale is sacrificed." There is a reason for everything, and thus, it raises the question: Where does the behavior stem from? The motives for this aren't exactly clear. Some choose this behavior because the want assurance that they do not rub off wrong with one person, and the other more common ones is when the person seeks something (material possesion, change of relationship between two persons).

Material posessions vary, and I would rather not get into that, as materialism is an issue all its own. The relationship aspect of kissing ass seems to be the more common one. A case study: I know a guy from my campus who tries very hard to come off as a philanthropist, claiming that he is legitly concerned for the well-being of everyone, and would even go to the lengths of "taking a bullet for them", despite a complete lack of a relationship (he does not even know their last name!) He would also strategically compliment people that he does not know, and make it imperative to associate himself with the local jocks of the institution. Why would anyone have to associate themselves with them unless they were jocks themselves? One word: Protection. Half of the time, the ones who associate themselves with the bullies are the ones who cannot defend themselves, and they need somebody to stick out for them, come a conflict big enough to cause a fight. Therein a stage is reached where the person can call "friend" once the first stage of "approval" is reached. However, the moment they cannot hold their own goal, a last resort exists, and that is where they discard the label and completely disown them as if they had never met. This is usually accomponied with a snide, "That ain't no friend of mine; he wouldn't insert x request here." If you're being sucked up to, think of yourself as the towel, and them as the dirty scumbag that has just come from a gym session. If you let this behavior persist, you will become one, and as all towels that are drenched with too much sweat, you will sag with them and your level shall sink beneath them because you are constantly stuck in-between their issues. It reaches the point where one can even become a victim of manipulation, and begin to receive a false lead on situations where one virtually becomes just another tool.

Granted, I am no wizard of judgment, as I derive all of this from my personal experience and not from a completely objective viewpoint, however I stand by my idea that kissing ass is interpreted by many (subconsciously for some, but still unjustifiable) as another form of friendship. It is saddening that the label being put on this is called "friendship" over what the actual term is. A "friendship" is not a paristic relationship. A friendship is a mutual relationship where both persons benefit. How is a true friendship, from my perspective established? The first thing you need to do is know who you really are. This is where most, if not all kissing ass begins: the lack of identity. The lack of identity influences insecurity, which becomes a greater influence on kissing ass; it is a mad, mad circle. What do you want out of a friend, or socialy experience. If you can sit down for a few hours, and think about that, you're well underway for a change for the better. You want to surround yourself with people that better yourself, not bring you down. Determining a kissass is fairly simple: Consider what type of relationship you have with the person. Is the sudden act of kindness all too sudden for it to be true? If so, then you may have one in your hands, and for the benefit of your health, it is best to kill the plant by its roots before it begins to grow flowers; because once it does, it will become difficult to get rid of.

That is all.